One of the skills I picked up a while ago in a workshop dealing with skills in relating to difficult people (why would priests need a workshop like that???) was that of ‘reframing the picture.’  If you take a picture with a lot of gold and red in it, and put that in a red frame – you’ll notice the red colors and hues in the picture.  The same is true if you put the gold frame on – the gold hues will jump to the fore.  So, too, the presenter said: “We all know people who are difficult, who we have to deal with on a regular basis.  (There are such things as difficult encounters – that is a different skill set)  The trick is to ‘re-frame the picture you carry about them in your head, so different parts of their life story come to mind instead of the difficult ones.’ 

For example, there is the story of a woman who gets on a subway.  Two stops later, man with three kids walks in.  Kids are okay at first.  The man is pretty out of it.  “YUPPIE”, she thought.  “So worried about career, could care less about parenting.  He’s a terrible dad.  Look at their behavior!”  The kids get wilder and wilder.  Finally:  “Sir, could you get these kids under control?”  He looks up, calls them gently, they come immediately. “I’m really sorry – just left my wife in the hospital room with some big tests – am not all here at the moment.”  In that instant, her frame changed – and now could deal with this person with compassion.  In dealing with difficult people, the skill is to find a frame that worked.   

WHY did Fr. tell this story, you might ask?  It seems that both Jesus and Moses needed to do a little ‘reframing’ today.  When both sets of followers were focusing on threats to their prestige and authority, Jesus and Moses ‘reframe’ the story.  And instead of focusing on their power and card carrying status as prophets and disciples, Jesus and Moses focus in on the people to whom they were ministering.  “Would that all might be prophets” – so that more and more people would have access to the message, Moses says – because it is all about hearing God’s word.  Jesus says:  “Think about when someone gave you a drink when you were thirsty.  Did it matter to you who gave you the drink?  Or, did it matter in this desert land that you had life sustaining water at a time of your need?” 

By reframing the picture, Moses and Jesus taught their disciples that it is all about making sure that people’s needs are met, not about who meets those needs, and whether they were members of the disciple union.  “Would that all were prophets!”  “Whoever is not against us is for us.”  It is all about the need of those to whom their service is rendered.   

Secondly, Jesus continues the ‘reframing’ of his disciples thought processes by now looking at the behavior of those INSIDE the organization.  In hyperbolic language, he invites his disciples to look at how they use their hands, feet and eyes.  Obviously if he meant these words literally, the church would look very different tonight.  But look at the reframing he does: The hands are what do the work of loving and caring.  The feet carry us to the place where we need to be serving and loving.  The eyes see the need that is out there and help us move into action.  If these are leading you astray, or are not doing what they are supposed to be doing, then watch out…

    So I got to thinking about hands and feet and eyes.  Do our hands greet the stranger in our school, that awkward student who sits in the corner of the classroom and never says a word?  Do our eyes make folks who might have different philosophies or orientations or visions of life welcomed and loved instead of outcast and shamed?  Do our feet carry us to the neighborhoods where Habitat for Humanity is working?  Do they walk with the student who is struggling in a relationship, with widows who are grieving in their losses?  If your hands, eyes and feet aren’t loving the community with all they got – then watch out, Jesus warns.

    This week – is there a little spiritual reframing you have to do?  Perhaps start in the arena where I first learned the reframing tool – with one of those difficult people in your life.  Stay there in prayer until you find a frame that works. 

And then, spend a little time in front of the proverbial mirror – are your hands and feet and eyes doing what they need to do, not to judge others, but to love as Jesus did?  If so, great!  If not, there’s some reframing to do…