What are the locked doors of your world?

It is easy to understand the locked doors in today’s story.  Fear has a way of doing that to you.  Now that Jesus was gone, the disciples wondered: “Were they next?”  As far as they knew, Judas was still out there, and he knew their gathering places.  Every sound in the street became another spy, waiting to betray them.  Every crunch of boots may have been Roman soldiers.  So there they hid, behind locked doors.  There, they kept council, when they would work up the courage to speak.  Could they return to Galilee and their former way of life?  Could they live out the remainder of their lives as simple fishermen, like it was before all this started.  It made sense to stay behind the locks, at least long enough to put a plan together. 

But those weren’t the only locks in place that first Easter day.  Often, in my prayer, I imagine what the atmosphere in that room was like, behind those locked doors.  They had all deserted, except, perhaps, the beloved disciple.  He had to live with the images of the crucifixion in his head.  They had to live with their failure to walk with Jesus even though they had all pledged they would die with him.    Guilt, remorse, overwhelming grief shackled their minds.  Did they talk about it?  Did they just play it over and over in their heads, hoping for a different outcome, only to be stuck in the nightmare of what they had done?  Their hearts were locked behind the doors of their own failures. 

Which made me think about my own life – and I realize that I spend time worrying about things that may not ever happen; fearful of a future I have no control over.  Will I get a call from the Archbishop to change assignments?  Will we raise enough money at the dinner dance to keep the school growing and tuition affordable?  Will the issues around the North East County Fire Protection District adversely affect this neighborhood?  I suspect we all have our own list of fears, of things that nag and worry us.  Things that keep us trapped in a future that may never come to be.  Or I spend time mulling over the mistakes I’ve made, locked inside all the coulda-woulda-shoulda’s of my days.  And I realize that the disciples aren’t the only ones who spend time behind locked doors.

The good news we celebrate today is that neither kind of locked doors kept the risen one from walking right into the world of the disciples.  Jesus just appears to hearts heavy with guilt and trapped in fear [*snap] just like that.  And look at what he says – he addresses both of those situations in the lives of the apostles.  “PEACE!” comes the Easter message.  And like a light being turned on in a dark room, fear is dispelled.  And then he talks about forgiveness and second chances, and beginning again.  “Whose sins you forgive…” and there were a lot to forgive.  The disciples discover how useless the locks that they had sequestered themselves behind were.  They also discovered the resurrected Lord’s penchant for setting people free…

And for those who are trapped in the dark of disbelief, our Lord arranged to pick that lock as well.  The story of Thomas, who was not there with the others adds the lock of doubt and agnosticism.  Thomas saw the effects of Jesus’ appearance on the others – heard their enthusiasm, their freedom from the guilt – but he could not live vicariously, or borrow someone else’ faith – he had to experience itself.   And with the same tenderness Jesus had used with the other disciples, he addressed Thomas’ doubts and fears, and picked that lock so thoroughly that Thomas’ profession is the most profound in all of the gospels.  “My Lord and My God.” 

So, what are the locked doors of your world?  What fear, what doubt, what mistake or un-forgiveness has you locked in your own version of the upper room?  Here is the good news.  Whatever the lock is – Jesus has the key.  And he is very, very good at opening locks…